Changing a Light Bulb

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The following is a satirical article for humorous purposes only

How Many Mennonites does it Take to Change a Bulb?

 EMMC: six. Two to discuss the latest LED lighting techniques, two to discuss the rising cost of electricity, one to hold the ladder and one to screw the bulb.

Kleine Gemeinde: five. Three to talk about the fancy lighting systems other worldly churches have, one to check the wires and one to put in the bulb.

Beachy and Conservative: four. One to place the bulb, one to make sure it is a conservative bulb to lower the cost of electricity, and two to pray about it.

Old Colony (Shipyard): three. One to make sure it's 12 volts, one to check that it is not a "fancy" bulb, and one to screw it in.

Other Non-Traditional Mennonites: all bulbs shine the same, are used the same, and give the same light. Therefore, praise God for that and believe in the wonderful things that will happen after the bulb is put in, no matter how many it took to change the bulb.

Holdeman Mennonites: one. There is only one "true" way of putting in a bulb, therefore there can be no errors as long as you follow the electrical guidelines written by the church.

Old Order Mennonites (Barton Creek): what's a light bulb?

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