Dating a Mennonite Girl

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  I recently did a review to see which words are typed the most in the search bar of my blog. To my great surprise, the phrase "dating a Mennonite girl" was at the top of the list. Mennonite girls appear to be in demand. Thankfully nowadays we can blame everything on Covid-19. The next phrase was "Holdeman Mennonites"--not a surprise-- and at the bottom of the list was "how to get a Mennonite man". Well boys, not much hope for you if you come from the Mennonite faith. Again, blame it on Covid-19.
  For those of you interested in dating a Mennonite girl, life will be made a little easier in just a few minutes. Read the list below for expert advice on finding and courting the right Mennonite girl for you.

1. Do not strain yourself to learn Plautdietsch before dating. Not knowing it will make the relationship much more exciting as you will discover. The dialect will grow on you or she will grow on you... either way you'll learn.

2. Most Mennonites grow up with the mindset that women cook and clean, men work outside. Therefore try a new approach: learn how to cook traditional foods such as verenaki, rollkuchen (similar to fryjacks), borscht, (soup), casseroles. Ask her what she likes for faspa. Armed with this skills, you will certainly win her over.

3.  Devote yourself to attending her church every Sunday. If you're a Seventh Day worshiper, you'll need some help from the Almighty to switch your days around but... she will be pleased.

4.  If you're not a farmer or mechanic, you better learn. Fast. This will earn you the respect and admiration of her father, her brothers, her male cousins, her uncles, her mother's brothers, her grandfather, and her pastor.

5.  When you take her out for a meal, make sure it's broad daylight; also make sure it's 50 miles away from where the security cameras of her older sister's, her tante's, her groosmama's, and her pastor's wife are unable to follow. Meeting in the middle of the night at a lonely crossroads is NOT recommended because some of those groosmamas have telescopic night vision.

6.  To see her reaction, cautiously mention the remote futuristic possibility of having 12 or more children. This will be the ultimate yes or no test that will lead you to marriage... or away from it.

Note: Once the wedding ceremony is over, before you drive off to your honeymoon please send a small note of thanks. After all, if you hadn't read the advice above, you would not be heading into your happily ever after.


   Always check with your nearest Mennonite community. There is no money-back guarantee or refund policy. All advice given above is final. Limited Lifetime Warranty is unavailable.
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  Of course the above is intended for humor only. Nevertheless it is a question that continues to rise up. While on the surface the question may seem ordinary, the creation of the phrase "Can I date a Mennonite girl" is rooted in the fact that for centuries Plautdietsch-speaking Mennonites have tended to isolate themselves with the mindset that they are a "chosen generation". This Biblical reasoning combined with their homogenous societies have caused them to be placed on center stage wherever they establish their colonies. Naturally this stirs up questions. What do they eat? Why do they dress like that? Can I marry a Mennonite? If living in a predominantly white country already places them on the stage, imagine what it is like for those Plautdietsch Mennonites living in the Latin American and Caribbean countries where most of the population is made up of brown-skinned, black-haired individuals. So the important question remains, "Can I date/marry a Mennonite girl?"
  Click here to find out.















                                            A. Mendoza

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