Leaving my Culture
I grew up a Kleine Gemeinde Mennonite in Spanish Lookout, although my parents grew up Old Colony from Shipyard. As time went by our family left the rigid Kleine Gemeinde and began attending charismatic services in different areas around Spanish Lookout. These churches welcomed anyone from any color or culture to join them. From wearing plain modest dresses with my long hair in braids to tiny shorts and spaghetti tops with my hair cut off like Dora the explorer. It was a major transformation and yet our family found something that we never could find in the Kleine Gemeinde church: freedom. Since we were not allowed to attend the KG school anymore, we switched over to a private but very modern Mennonite school. I had Spanish and Creole fellow students and became more used to interacting with people of different backgrounds. I began to wonder what it would be like to leave my family and join a completely foreign culture.
Suddenly, one of my parents passed away. Although we had friends who were kind and understanding, the following years were full of turmoil and upheavals and I became further alienated from my family. The way my sibling and I were treated during those years of uncertainty left me with a desire to get out and away from my kin. I had just begun to recover when I met a young Mestizo (aka "spanish") man. We were married with very little opposition from my family, thank goodness.
Now a new phase of life opened up before me. Learning to understand and speak Spanish, cooking colorful and spicy foods, adapting to a new way of thinking and doing things, traveling in crowded busses, it was all different and exciting to me. Needless to say there were times when I experienced clashes with the way my husband's family did and said things. But in spite of this, I never regretted leaving my ethnic Mennonite ways behind me except for speaking Plautdietsch which I use with my siblings. It's not that I don't miss my culture, nor am I biased. Occasionally I eat werenaki (perogies), noodle soup, and zwieback in order for my children to get a taste of my childhood years, but otherwise I am much happier in the Mestizo culture. They are more open-minded, more down-to-earth humble and warm, and are very willing to do each other favors without ever expecting or demanding anything in return as compared to many Mennonites in Spanish Lookout. When I see the narrow mindedness of some of my Mennonite relatives, especially now in the time of the pandemic and the vaccine, I'm thankful I stepped out of there many years ago. One thing I miss is the close family bond of childhood years, but I know time, prayer and faith can heal those wounds.
During our early years of marriage we attended different liberal Mennonite churches but somehow over time the clash of metal, the booming of drums, the flashing lights, falling down with the Spirit and speaking in tongues, have lost their appeal. We wanted something with solid Biblical structure underneath, something that required a commitment from us to them and vice versa. Too many of these churches had a "come-and-go-as-you-please" attitude, no depth to it. A complete stranger could attend church for 2 Sundays in a row and be baptized on the 3rd as long as he said "Hallelujah, praise God" and danced to the worship music. I used to be ok with those things but now I see things differently. We are now attending a conservative non-denominational church and so far have enjoyed and appreciated what we found.
May God bless you all!
B. Mendoza
